Marie Antoinette Syndrome
by This isn't what it looks like
Summary: Kaneki was the weak one, the one who couldn't control anything, the one who flinched at the prospect of death. If he wanted to keep those around him safe, he would have to endure the company of a ravenous Rize for a bit longer than he would like to. /Slash!/ white haired Kaneki x Dark haired Kaneki!
1. Chapter 1

**AN:...I regret nothing! I just ship it too much! White haired Kaneki x Dark haired Kaneki, is just too much feels for me to ignore! And after Hide's death...T-T I just...anywhooo, this is my first non-oc fanfic! Pat me on the head! :D This is really just a drabble I was thinking about. The magna just made me wonder, what the HELL was Dark haired Kaneki doing in his weird little mindscape while White haired Kaneki was out ass-kicking!?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul! Or it's characters!**

**.**

**.**

For a very long time Kaneki sat still, trying to ignore the scent of blood and the sounds of gore in the far right corner.

Rize was relentless with her feeding, and whenever she finished a meal, another body seemed to pop up to keep her distracted. It made him gag when she ripped apart tendons, cracked open skulls, and drank the blood from hastily removed limbs. He didn't look to see what she was doing, but he could hear it very well.

The white room that they were in wasn't exactly small, but it did force Kaneki to be closer to Rize than he was comfortable with. Even in the far left corner, he still occasionally got splattered by blood. She had ruined many of Kaneki's books with stray blood splatters (Which was easily fixed, but very annoying) to the point that he turned his back to her just to keep them clean while he was reading.

He _really _should have known better than to turn his back on her.

Rize was quick to try and clamp her teeth on his shoulder, luckily Kaneki, in a burst of panic, had extended his kagune and skewered her. He removed the tentacles immediately and began frantically apologizing, but Rize just laughed, blood spilling from her lips and stomach, and returned to her corner to continue eating.

Kaneki kept a very close eye on Rize after that.

They didn't talk, they never did. Rize always had her mouth stuffed, and Kaneki could never think of anything to say to her.

'_Why did you try to eat me?' _seemed like a stupid question.

After arriving here in this mindscape, because that's what this place was, he began to wonder if he would ever be able to leave. Kaneki could sometimes see what was going on in the outside world from his split personalities point of view in little snippets, and saw that his white haired counterpart never took a moments rest.

Always fighting, always protecting, always doing his absolute best.

Kaneki admired him. It might have seemed strange at first, to admire his own self, but Kaneki adjusted to the fact that his white haired counterpart was _not _him. The white haired ghoul was strong, fearless. He didn't shy away from a fight, and he was always working hard.

Kaneki worked hard too, while he was still in his control of his body, but his mindset had always held him back. This _new him _was not only protecting everyone around him, he was also protecting himself. Something Kaneki could never do.

It's funny, that _Rize_ was the one to help him achieve this strength.

Kaneki was safe inside of his own mind, (As safe as one can be with Rize) but he still sometimes felt the desire to once again be in control of his own body.

That posed a problem though. If Kaneki were to gain control of his body, what would he do? Would he attempt to pick up where the white haired Kaneki left off?

But what about the point of the split personality in the first place? Kaneki was the weak one, the one who couldn't control anything, the one who flinched at the prospect of death.

If he wanted to keep those around him safe, he would have to endure the company of a ravenous Rize for a bit longer than he would like to.

This was the plan.

Until slowly but surely, the white haired Kaneki started to go insane from all the ghoul cannibalism. Kaneki wanted to intervene whenever his counterpart began to lose himself in the bloodlust. He wanted to pull him back from the fight, sit down next to him, and give him cups of coffee until he calmed down.

Kaneki found himself feeling somewhat responsible for his white him. And he could tell that his counterpart wasn't happy. He had friends that tried to cheer him up after the 10 days of torture done to him, and he appreciated it, but he still wasn't _happy._

It kind of felt like Kaneki had placed all of his burdens on someone else's shoulders again.

The white haired Kaneki was going insane with the amount of _pressure_ being put on him. From the glimpses that Kaneki got, he could see that his counterpart trained obsessively. More than Kaneki ever did in his lifetime.

Kaneki lifted up his shirt and slid his hand down the soft flat surface of his chest and stomach.

The skin there was not as pale as the White haired Kaneki's, and it was quite obvious how frail Kaneki was in ghoul standards, never mind that he had exceptional healing abilities. The white haired Kaneki was so _strong..._and fierce...and….oh.

Kaneki flinched slightly when his hand slid down a little lower down his abdomen.

He hadn't done _that _in a long time. Ever since he was trapped inside the mindscape with Rize.

Kaneki sighed and steered his thoughts away from that direction. The white haired Kaneki. That's what he was worried about right now. Not the fact that Kaneki was slowly becoming touch starved.

...Maybe Rize wouldn't notice?

Kaneki took a deep breath and fought back his blush. He would have to be quiet. Really _really _quiet. he would absolutely die from embarrassment if he were caught. Even _if _Rize was a figment of his imagination.

Kaneki slowly shifted behind his mountain of books to shield himself from her view. His blush came back full-force when his hand returned to the band of his pants and dipped in. Fingers probed at the soft burning flesh between his legs. Kaneki rubbed his thighs together to repress his squirming.

If he moved around too much, he would knock over the unstable wall of books. His breath came out in small pleasured huffs as he slowly moved his hand. '_Quiet!'_he berated himself, his other hand reaching up to cover his mouth.

A squeak made its way past his fingers though, and Kaneki was ashamed at how girly that sounded. Sure, he had made much less manly noises during training before, but Kaneki was pretty sure that men were supposed to have _manly grunts_ or something when they _took care of the problem,_ not girlish squeaks.

Kaneki's legs shook as continued to pump himself. Yes, Kaneki was girly. _Really _girly, wasn't he? The thought made Kaneki's insides clench with arousal.

That was strange, wasn't it? Kaneki shouldn't find that arousing, should he?

But he couldn't help himself from thinking about how embarrassing it would be to be treated like a girl. For his strong counterpart to cage his entire body, to hold him down, _making _him feel embarrassed on purpose. It unexpectedly made Kaneki's mouth water.

He rolled his hips up leisurely into his palm while his eyes drooped into half-mast.

The white haired Kaneki.

Should he feel bad for thinking about him while doing this? It was just that Kaneki thought that he would feel exceptionally guilty if he thought about anyone _else._It would be okay if he thought about himself, rather than a stranger that he randomly remembered to be pretty, right? It would be like he was taking advantage of them, in some weird way.

It didn't matter if it was himself though.

"Hn, so perverted, Kaneki-kun~" a somewhat familiar voice teased him from across the room.

Kaneki gave a sharp yelp and almost instantly yanked his hand out of his pants. His entire neck and face blushed a bright red to showcase his pure, unadulterated shame.

Oh god, he needed _out_ of this place! Or at least a separate room!

.

**.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note!: The chapters are gonna be shortish, because I have a report I have to do kinda REALLY soon.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

With the Other Kaneki's rapidly destabilizing mind, Kaneki really shouldn't have been surprised when the room around him started to fall apart.

It started off small, a little crack in the middle of the wall. It wasn't really all that noticeable.

But then the crack started to spread out, and the smooth plane was beginning to resemble busted glass. Kaneki watched this happen with uncomfortable wariness.

He figured that the cracks in the wall symbolized the other Kaneki's splintering sanity That was a scary thought. What would happen if the cracks spread all the way out? Would the wall crumble?

Kaneki inspected the crack in the wall. It was about as large as his hand, and when he touched it, he felt cold. It was an unpleasant feeling. A kind of cold that shocked him up his arm with pins and needles.

But still, he prodded at it. Maybe he could...um, seal it with some glue? Or maybe clay?

With that in mind, Kaneki thought up some sticky textured clay and spread it over the cracks. He waited for it to dry and then ran his fingers over the spot again. When he didn't feel anything, he figured that everything was okay and sat back down with his piles of books.

-:-

.

It was fine for a little while before another, much larger, crack appeared in the white room.

It was on the ceiling.

The other crack that Kaneki had fixed was also starting to open up again. He sighed, fixed the crack in the wall, and thought up a ladder to reach the ceiling. This time he used clay _and _duct tape just to make extra sure it _stayed _fixed.

But then several other little cracks began to pop up in random spots. Kaneki was frantic in trying to seal them all closed, even resorting to asking Rize for a bit of assistance. She, of course, ignored him in favor of eating.

By the time Kaneki sat down in his own little chair in the corner, he was exhausted.

It really was a chore keeping the other Kaneki's mind from collapsing in. The cracks were now ranging from a couple of inches to full blown meters. The room was more duct tape and gray clay than it was white walls and smooth surfaces.

Even Rize took a small break from eating to comment on the miserable state of the room, "Oh my, that's not very good is it?" she noted, then she went back to eating.

Kaneki sighed at her lackluster reaction, and watched as another crack appeared next to Rize's head. Kaneki winced. He might have wanted to keep the room in one piece, but he _really _didn't want to go near Rize.

Maybe it wouldn't get that big?

It did.

The spider webbed cracks spread out from the corners to the sides of the walls, plaster flaking around them.

Oh god, he really was going to have to do this, wasn't he?

Alright, fine, talk to the woman, it's not that hard. '_Don't be such a coward.'_

Kaneki scooted from behind his mountain of books. "Ah, Miss Rize...do you mind if I..." Kaneki trailed off as Rize's head snapped up to look at him, a severed and gnawed on finger protruding from her lips. Her ghoul eyes wide and glazed over with a thin sheen of dazed bloodlust.

"...Never mind, sorry." Kaneki sighed and slipped back behinds his pile of books.

Yep, this was going to end badly.

-:-

.

Kaneki clutched desperately at his books as the room continued to shake violently. The cracks on the walls splintered further until they gaped and showed the inky blackness behind them.

Another vision of the outside world flickered into view. Investigators and ghouls in battle. The other Kaneki wasn't even in full control of his body as wound after wound was inflicted upon him and survival instinct flared in him.

The scene abruptly cut off as the ground beneath his feet gave another lurch into the air. Kaneki scrambled for purchase as books and blood flew about the room. Rize hissed in displeasure when the room's jolt was almost enough to rip away the body she held so firmly between her teeth.

It went on like this, shockwave after shockwave that crumbled the ground beneath their feet. Kaneki sometimes had to jump from spot to spot on the floor just to avoid the sinkholes that kept on appearing. Rize had immediately dug her Kagune into the walls and just hung there, irritation clear on her face.

Kaneki would have followed her example, seeing as the floor was disappearing faster than the walls were, but he was afraid that piercing the walls would bring them down further. It was bad enough that Rize had already done it.

Minutes, hours, Kaneki wasn't sure how much time had passed. But he was fairly certain that it was an event that seemed longer than it actually was.

Though eventually, the shaking began to subside. Kaneki breathed slowly and carefully as he remained flattened up against the wall. The ground underneath his feet was barely enough for him to tip-toe on, the rest had crumbled to reveal a pitch black abyss below.

"Miss Rize...are you alright?" Kaneki asked without turning her way. He was trying very hard to avoid any movement that would jeopardize his very delicate position.

He heard Miss Rize give a irritated huff, "No." she snapped.

"Oh. Um, what do you think we should do now? This is a rather...difficult situation." Maybe he could think up a floor? He tried, and failed.

Okay, this was bad. _Very very _bad.

"This place is useless now." Rize sighed. The sound of her Kagune dislodging from the wall was enough for Kaneki to give into his desire to turn his head towards her to see what she was doing.

He gasped in horror as he watched Rize drop down into the darkness with a bored look on her face.

"Miss Rize!" he called after her. Kaneki's mind raced in a panic for two reasons. 1) He might have just watched Rize commit metal suicide, 2) It was possible that _Rize, _a woman that he had heard gorging herself on human innards for who knows how long, had just gained access to the rest of Kaneki's mind outside of the room.

Was it awful if he preferred the first possibility over the second?

Kaneki remembered all too well what it was like to have Rize pushing stress and hunger driven insanity into his brain at the worst possible times, trying to tear down his morals at_** every**_ opportunity.

Maybe if Kaneki followed her down into the abyss, he would be able to sort of cushion some that? Hopefully? He definitely didn't think that the Other Kaneki would appreciate the returning visions of Rize.

Okay, he was going to do this. Not that big a deal. Just jump in after her.

With that in mind, Kaneki took in a deep shuddering breath, tried to keep him mind off of what he was about to do, and then stepped over the edge of his slim platform.

.

.

.

**AN: I'm a bitch, I know.**


End file.
